An Alien Amidst My Own

You tend to change, change is eminent, with time, you get older, grow wiser, chuckle at your very own stupidity that you might have committed when young, the sheer bravado of undertaking an undue risk when totally deemed unnecessary for a mere share of adrenaline rush. Something of beauty that brings a smile on to your face while mining through years worth of memory, that very smile fades away the very next moment.

Life itself is an oxymoron, you cannot make sense of most of what goes on, growing up all one could think of is to get out there exploring the world, be it taking the academic route or work, finally when you wind up there, you stick out like a sore thumb, then you tend to imbibe the new found etiquette's inorder to blend in, these new found upgraded refinements in ones very own taste are tough to let go off, still this camouflage doesn't get you counted one amongst the flock as you still stick out like a sore thumb, sometimes you feel like calling it a day, damn with the adventure, pack up and leave at once, seem to be missing that very chaos that you once despised and then you leave at once.

It hasn't still hit you yet and you aren't sure what awaits you ahead, once back, its the same penny for a dime episode playing out, the only change, you aren't counted in as one, as now you look different, eat different, talk different, prefer different, all the nudging and touching is something you can't put up with, plagued by mannerism and your speech governed by politeness you are getting distanced, you can't seem to blend in within your very own mix, have I lost it? or is the change that drastic that I feel like an alien amidst my own mix.

Cast away into the woods

Living among-st the woods. Bitter wilderness clogging the very landscape, that lay siege to anything and everything that lay before it.

A wooden cabin that lay besides the river, stocked with all forms of livestock. A boat, decked on the banks of the shore and a small airplane, to soar through the skies.

A couple of double barrel hunting rifles, hanging on the wall, to keep intruders in check, a loyal pal ( I would prefer a Siberian Husky) who would tag around, everywhere I go, a private brewery on the lower deck and another filled with vintage bottles of every known form of alcohol.

Hunt, fish, gather woods, live to survive in the wilderness.

Now that would be a life I wish to lead, if money were to be taken out of the equation.

The Godless in Me!

What do you make of passion, without pursuit? What do you make of hope, a hope that defies logic? Expecting for somebody to walk right through that door and to have a fairy tale love story blossom as a result of it? if this is what hope is, I'm good without it.

I'm an intellectual outcast, atleast, I consider myself to be one. My ideological forethought may not sink in with the likes of intellectual oracles, who recite versus of delusional misconceptions deemed to be an act of righteousness ones ought to perform.

I'm Godless, a forthright individual, who doesn't give into the fantasy world of storytelling, which in-turn is a world made up of misconceptions and misinterpretations.

What is a religion. Something a few people got together, pondered over an illusion and then arrived at a conclusion, that this is an act of god and the only way to stay in his good books is to mend ones way of living in a manner deemed right by these intellectuals.

Now the rest really didn't have an option but to comply.

The first branch of rebels where the ones who floated there own religion in defiance.

Then somebody came along and called himself "God"/

Another one came along, told his folks that he had a dream about somebody telling him verses of god, which was already told to another man, hundreds of years ago.

The only reason, it was being recited again to him was because the previous message was passed on by various channels and at some point, was lost in translation.

Now according to this man, paganism was deemed as an act of blasphemy, so his followers chose the path to force convert people in order to bring solace into their life, which was deemed their mission, as a result they plundered and enslaved a lot of people, just to spread the message of god.

Now if somebody in this 21st century, would tell us such story, he would end up in an asylum, but it wasn't the case back then.

It is OK with me if you were to limit this forethought to yourself, but when you force somebody into it, that's when you I have a problem.

The oldest religion in the world has a god for everything, everything around us is a god, there is a god in me aswell, you having a bad time, blame it on this planet, good time then this.

Awaken people, you are just a spec in this universe.

Planets or stars don't give a flying F*** whether you exist or not,

So please try being rational and open your eyes way before you stretch your one leg closer to your grave.

Why am I still 'SINGLE' ?

I bet everybody has gone through this trauma, Its not about being single, its about being asked why? I mean, love is such an over hyped emotion in this part of town, that people can't imagine somebody not to have been smitten by one. I have seen guys who have literally given in to this question and ended up tagging along a glossy pair of fancy pants just to keep  people at their bay. I have literally seen people regret their action but it was already too god damn late. The follow up question is even more retarded than the first one. "What is it that you look for in a woman"? I mean seriously! The fact that she doesn't come with that extra something in between her pants similar to that of mine, what kind of question is that? Everybody would have put through their expectations and priorities, like they had an image of an imaginary woman stuck right behind their head, but the bottom line is that nobody knows. It kind of like a friction, a flame ignites when to see a certain somebody that you don't know a thing about. Who she is?  what she is like? as that spark is telling you that she is the one. She would never resemble the image of the imaginary woman that you had stuck right behind your head, but who cares, you would just throw it right away and stick her image instead and that my friend is love. As far as you can tolerate her presence and she can of yours, that should be the only criteria that should eventually matter and I haven't found mine yet, as I'm somebody whose mind is a little twisted and would require a special one to put up with it.

Why do men generally make better leaders than women?

Now to be frank the aspect of  leadership differs quite a lot when it comes to men and women. Men have donned the position of authority and  women who are the later entrants, were given a taste of it, maybe towards the later part of the 20th century or maybe towards the start of the 21st century and are still facing trouble to come in grips with it.

Now we have had some women factions in the past who were successful in climbing up the political ladder, but were they good enough, or their qualification was just that they were women and that they are to be given a chance, now Cleopatra became the ruler of Egypt. She wouldn't have become the queen that she became, if it wasn't for Julius Caesar's military backing. Queen Boudica of the British Iceni Tribe led her people against the Roman legion, even though she out numbered the Romans, Romans went on to defeat her and drove her to oblivion. Margret Thatcher, similar to Indira Gandhi is a subject matter of dispute, when we stack together their pro's and con's. So now coming back to the age old question, "Do women make good leaders?" My answer to that question would be that, they make good organizers but not much of leaders, again it depends upon the leadership role they are assigned with. Women got their taste of leadership towards the end of the 20th century, their numbers were bleak and they constantly felt the urge to reassert their position, as they felt it necessary to prove their worth and that they are equal to men, thereby creating conflicts.

Men unlike women, generally like to paint a holistic picture, so in an organisational set up, when the subordinates of a male boss kind of clocks in late or has some delays when it comes to delivering the deliverable, he/she can, kind of put forth the problem he/she is faced with and he would understand and shrug he/she off with a smile or set things straight as to what needs to be done, without beating around the bush or  indulging in sweet talk, he does not try to emotionally connect or bond on all issues, which is a good thing. With women, the approach is  different, you would receive a verbal rhetoric in-terms of company policies, rules. regulations and verbal  threats of escalations to higher authority and all of that bullshit, she is not to be blamed for that, that's her approach, its just that she feels the urge to assert her sense of authority, which she feels is constantly put to threat. So the style of leadership varies vastly, now you would have personalities who would differ to that of my description, but when it comes to my opinion, its that on an average men are better leaders, as the quality of leadership is programmed within the male gene structure, some are better at it, some aren't, but on an average they rank better than there female counterparts, when it comes to understanding their people. connecting with them, asserting their dominance, creating a comfort zone and thereby getting the job done.

Bitter Romanticism

Love is an emotional conceptualization of feelings. It is some sort of a connect, and it surpasses physical oneness and is often experienced at an emotional level. When you look at a certain somebody and you get to experience an unfriendly weird tickle in your gut, that my friend is love, wanting to see more of that face not knowing why, when that smile pops on to that face, you get to feel that lightness like as if there were no gravity around to pull you down.  

It’s not the shape, the color or her beauty that make you sweat even in the coldest of winters, it is that certain something that cannot be explained that has triggered this sensation. Now this funny feeling is different, it makes you do things that you don’t normally do, maybe it makes you listen to softer romantic numbers that you are so not accustomed to listen, or take a walk down the road not knowing where you headed, but whatever that is, it just cannot be quantified in words and has to be felt.

I dream of a day that would make me do all of these, a woman that would demand my attention and to take notice of, somebody who could outsmart me in conversation or rather have me go scouting for words as she would have worn out my existing vocabulary, somebody who appreciates beauty and art, knows the good stuff when she sees it, somebody who loves to cook as I love to eat, somebody who would make me feel complete and would get to be my platinum pendent that I could wear on my entire life till this body wears out. 

Elucidating the "Pleasantries" one dreams about!

An era of capitalism that has catapulted many unknown names in to the billion dollar club, equal opportunity is what it provides you with, you got an idea, an idea  you can cash in on, then success could be your mattress, well this  fairy tale exuberant cocktail of optimistic insanity cannot be tolerated by likes of somebody who is driven by a rational forethought, lets put things to perspective, how does brilliance pay off? not every smart ones in this planet who isn't ashamed of using his/her  brains to its optimum capacity has ended up being a millionaire, you have some incredibly dumb ones who are nothing but a burden to this planet, but still succeed in striking fortunes, so at the end of the day what does it take to be successful? Is it just plain smartness or the ability to put it to use to strike gold!

The  very definition of success various from one individual to another, for some amassing huge stockpile of money running into millions and probably billions would be success and for some dwelling in the lap of luxury is what it would be, for someone pondering aimlessly drunk in a beach thinking, having nothing to worry about is an achievement and for some fulfilling the responsibility, be it that of a father,husband,son, brother,sister,wife,mother or a daughter would be the definition of the word "success", for some having power at their disposal is what success is and for some landing up with a partner who would be termed as an eye candy by the rest of the world would be it, no matter what your definition of success is, not everyone gets to attain it, for all you know it’s just a bleak possibility that only a chosen few who have landed up in this world are destined to attain it, so the only thing that is separating you from your wants and your needs is what are you willing do sacrifice in order to attain it because all those who have made it , have gone through an ordeal of mining in the dark to strike gold, with a very little possibility to ever being able to find it, so to answer your question, it would be hope coupled with every last ounce of all the efforts you can muster would  be the only route through which the destination of success could be reached.

The Russian Roulette

I didn't foresee it coming, but it was coming, of that I was sure off, there was an undue silence, suddenly the whole place fell silent, was I going deaf, nah, I wasn’t, maybe too much of whiskey in me was responsible for things going numb and this deafening silence, perched in a sofa, felt as comfortable as a crocodile lying on a sandy shore, puffing away my cigarette, man! that thing tasted sweet, as sweet as  honey, I sat there still in a room plagued by darkness, something about darkness had always made me comfortable, I didn’t know what it was but it felt soothing, like an ice cube dropped onto a glass filled with whiskey, there was this poster on the wall that kept staring back at me, it was kind of growing onto me, a picture of a person holding a gun onto his head and just before he was about to pull the trigger, he had this smirk on his face that told me something, death is not something to be afraid off, but rather an adventure to seek out for, nobody can tell you how it feels like to be dead or what happens when you dead, the only way to find out is to put a bullet in your head and find out yourself, they called it the “Russian Roulette”, load a single bullet onto a pistol and then try killing yourself, if your time is up it fires, if not you live to see another day, I wanted to try that out because only men with real balls, could dare to do something of this sort.


 I rose from my sofa, walked towards my drawer, pulled out the 9 mm pistol, the Glock 17, it belonged to my dad, it was his prized possession, he kind of had it as long as he was alive, it kind of reminded him of his days back in the army, now it’s just a souvenir to remember him by, I loaded it with a single bullet, placed it on my right temple and just when I was about to pull the trigger, my entire life played like a video in a fast forward motion, some things I did that I was proud off and something’s that I wasn't,  there are always certain things you regret, yeah, I had some of those, maybe I should have let go of my ego and told my dad that I forgave him for not having been there in my life and my girl who loved me, that I felt the same way for her too, I wasn't some heartless schmuck and that I too was programmed to have emotions and feelings just like everybody around, its just that I didn't know how to go about it, I wasn't sure whether I was that relationship type guy,well now its too late to find it out,she is somebody else's girl now and my dad is no more, so that’s my story until now, I walked towards my balcony, I could get a good view of my city as I was perched on the 10th floor, took one last look at the city I grew up in, it looked a lot different, it wasn't the same city anymore, I hadn't seen a 20-storey building back when I was a kid and now it was a common sight, I whispered the words “Hey dad, here I come” and I pulled the trigger, the gun went off but didn't fire, “Oh, shit, I lived to see another day” which reminded me of the fact that my drink was done and that I had to get another one.      

"WORK" Weary.Overload.Realistic.Killer

Job, the three letter word that literally sends blood pressure soaring through, for some finding one is a pain in the ass to deal with and for some surviving the ordeal of performing it is, the percentage of people who end up loving what they do, happens to be similar to that of cancer survivors,  anyways there isn't a realistic solution to this problem, as everybody is forced to find a mode of revenue that could take care of ones expenses, there are a faction of people who would go great lengths in-terms of the amount of man hours invested in butt slogging to get to where they want, it maybe an appraisal, a promotion or in plain sight to make sure that they don’t evict his/her ass out of the very chair he/she sits, on the hindsight who is the real benefactor  take a moment to think this over and if you still feel that it is you, then maybe you are the lamest dumb-ass if there ever was one, the organisation doesn't give a damn about who you are or at the end of the day wouldn't even recall what your name was or that you ever served it, as far as they know, you are a perishable commodity, drain every last ounce of productivity out of you and when they find nothing left, they just discard you and find a replacement, all that you will be left with is a story to tell about your ordeal and nobody would give a jack shit about it, they don’t award you with a silver cross pinned across your chest, even the men who receive it know its just some pacifier handed over to them to keep their morale high and that they contributed in something worthwhile, which is take another man’s life stating he is an enemy, a fellow soldier, whom he has never met in his entire, who has a family back home like him and the reason provided is that he hails from an enemy state, now that’s the hallucination patriotism provides you with, it provides you with a reason to uphold insanity, so at the end of the day no matter what you do, no matter how well you do,  do care to give a damn about yourself  putting your ass on line of fire because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how well you lived your life, what does matter is that, was it a life well lived….

Retention of Sanity when plagued by the Devil

Ambition and aspiration can serve as drugs at times, it doesn't provide hope but rather hallucinations of better prospects which never arise, when life knocks you down, all you got to do is to take high dosage of these drugs and everything would seem just fine, you can laugh away your misery, for all you know, they make you forget the traces of its very existence, its highly potent and legal, its consumption is termed ethical and is advocated by all of humanity and the best part is that anybody can prescribe it, if you find nobody, then prescribe it yourself, you don’t have to go to a drug store to obtain it, as its available in plenty and comes with no price tag, its available in the T.V  that you watch or the book that you read, the elite telling the marginalized that what they seek is within their grasp and all that they need to do is to hold on to it, till it becomes a reality, nobody realizes their purpose in life, some say it’s to become rich and famous and another sect state it’s to yield power, the once who pretend to be wise say it’s to make a change or a difference, some vouch for religion and to pursue its cause,  some are caught up with miscued patriotism, maybe with respect to a land that they belong too, religion or race, pretty ironic as it may seem as some are ready to lay down their life for being part of race or land which was purely accidental and in which they had no role to play.

 When you are young you are told you can live the life you dream't,  the dream was a pleasant one, which had a house, a woman in your life, a couple of kids of your own and watch your parents grow old, that was the dream, watch the sun rise, flowers blossom, smiles everywhere and that was it, the older you grow,  it seems pretty evident that this isn't enough, life offers more and that there is more to it, then it starts getting a bit complex, more women, more money followed by success in career, then make a million bucks, then triple that, I mean this is ridiculous, human need just doesn't have a full stop, cannot blame the devil for it, as we live in the era of abundance, we have grown from a phase where in the very urge in life was to obtain food for ourselves and the family, to everybody having an individual definition which vary tremendously, now food is no more a motive, as it is available every ten blocks you walk, you turn around, you got something available to eat, irrespective of whether you need it or not, you eat not because you are hungry but because you are bored, isn’t that something, some starve the rest languish on abundance,  have all’s feeling sorry for have not’s, news channels airing stories about who low can we stoop, What is it that defines motive in somebody’s life, I haven’t realized it, if its success, how do you define it, I think we were better off being naive, there was a phase where in an average farmer during 16^th century would only amass as much knowledge as  what a regular 25 sheet newspaper carries his entire life, now knowledge cannot be quantified and so is the human urge, retention of sanity  may be a tough task when the epidemy  of greed is set loose by the devil.

MEMOIRs OF A BLASPHEMIST

If thy were to ask me my wish, thou what I Seek,

I seeketh thy wisdom, from thy you believe,

Ask me not who, ask me not why,

Why thy should I not, you doth not reply,

Provide me an answer is all that I seek,

You are a believer, thy should possess an answer to what I thy seek,

I seeketh no gold, I seeketh no love,

I seeketh no lust or the power to subdue my own kind,

All I seeketh is thy enlightenment of the creature you thy believe,

I doth not utter his thy name in vain,

Blasphemy thy call it, for I may be sinned,

I seeth  no creator peering down through the skies,

If he thy resides, why thy not cometh to thy earth he created,
For subjects he formed, in whose name thy pray,

The stories we form and the stories we pass on,

Thoughtless thy virtue but giveth thy hope,

If a belief  provideth a man with thy hope,

Thy belief shall live on as it provides thy solace in times of thy grief. 

Trying to get a foothold of the three letter taboo word “SEX”!!

There is a lot of hype surrounding this word, there is a lot of desperation surrounding this word, everybody needs it, everybody craves for it, still nobody is ready to acknowledge that they do,pretension is the order of the day, men are a bit more forthcoming in acknowledging the fact that they do ,maybe its something to do with portraying their masculine traits, as the more twisted they sound these days, the more acceptable they are among st their peers, I have seen guys who make a serious attempt to forgo of their human traits just to look cool and they end up looking more like an animal, just to stand out and get noticed, it seems girls dig it,what I don’t understand is that why would a women make an effort to try and mate with an Indian version of his white counterpart “The George of the Jungle”,unless she has grown up watching “The Jungle Book” or her childhood hero was Tarzan, apart from a one of fantasy, I don’t get the point”, these days it doesn't matter if your talk lacks content or has any at all,they are branded as cool, you talk to them about current affairs,they would say “fuck Politics”,talk to them about recent crisis and issues,they be like “fuck it,who cares”,

When it comes to choosing an ideal mate in the animal kingdom, female counterparts seems to have an upper edge, males come to seek pleasure,females play the game of “I’m a tough catch,you impress me”he would then fight it out with an other male, show of his strengths and what he’s got and then if she is pleased they go ahead and get dirty, the intention being to bring this world a smarter and stronger species of their kind that would be apt enough to survive, we say they not smart, but they act like they are where it matters.

Women in general pretend like their sensory organs determining that particular functioning is kind of dead and it activates through running a program called marriage, women who are not in acknowledgement with this forethought where forced to pretend like they did, now the trend is changing, love is trending, even though the word is sometimes coupled with the meaning of another word which is lust, it is more acceptable than the later as it does not get people to raise their eyebrows when uttered as it is considered as a divine emotion but the problem is women tend to choose the wrong ones these days, the more cockier, insane, jabber mouthed guys, It is still their choice and I’m nobody to make a comment on that but do consider the impact the generation next is going to have due to your choice, there is a constant drop in smartness quotient with every passing decade, thanks to y’all, so next time be wise and choose wisely, look at him as an accessory, list out the features before you pick one, refine your taste and your picking order,so that the generation next can benefit from it!!

Arranged Marriage "A sneak peak preview as to how it get's done in India"

Marriage can be really tough at times and when it comes to Indian marriages it makes it even worse,

We have this system called the arrange marriage,

Where in a  man and a women get married without having seen each other,

They get married because their parents want them too,

The interesting part is that the the groom wouldn't have seen the brides face,

He would then go  and tell his father that he wants to meet his future wife,

his father would say, no its against our tradition and then hand him over a photograph saying this is how she looks like,

after looking at the picture he would be like “wow, she looks beautiful, is dad serious?oh my god !!all my life I thought of him as my enemy and now he has chosen such a good looking girl for me,maybe I was wrong”,

he would have literally fallen in love with the picture,he would have started dreaming about her every single day

The marriage day finally arrives and they get married,

Even during the marriage he wouldn't have had the opportunity to actually see her actual face as her face would have literally covered with make up, Jewellery and all of that you know,

After the marriage he gets busy greeting the guests and then night falls in,it’s the first night ritual,lights go out and nobody wants to miss out on that,

The next morning he wakes up and is literally searching for his wife,it’s still a mystery for him as to how she looks like,

And then some lady brings him a glass of coffee, he thinks it’s  the maid but then she starts smiling and giggling ,he starts getting uncomfortable, he asks her as to where his wife is and she says that she is his wife,

He would be going through a shock of his life after hearing that, he tells her that he has a picture of her and that it doesn't look anyway close to the way she looks and she would reply to him stating that, “honey,it’s been photo-shopped”.

He then goes to his father and asks him why did he do this to him and father would say that ,his father had done the same thing to him and it  was the only way he is was gonna get his revenge,

The next day he stands in-front of the mirror and literally talks to his reflection,

“your life is gone,your dreams are shattered, your wife looks miserable, your career is going nowhere,so what do you want to do now….

All of a sudden he hears a noise in the background,it says honey….

He is like “listen, now lets at-least go and try making that stupid wife of mine happy”…. 

A Generation of Men raised by a Women

Off-late enough has been debated about, as to how you go about teaching men to behave and respect their female counterpart, It is made to seem like the entire male race has lost its claim to the "Gentlemen" title, I see quotes like "Real men don't do this or do that" making frequent rounds in the social media, I think the recent "Male Bashing" trend has really caught on with the female counterpart, we are also talking about the need to empower women, treat them on par with men, eliminating gender bias, they are to be given reservations everywhere because they are women, they now want to do everything that men do, even the fields like combat.previously dominated by men are now witnessing the induction of women, right now I don't think they are deployed into active war zone but in future, maybe they will fight alongside men, These days I see women competing with men on every frontier, be it puffing away packs of cigarettes, drinking or slurring, they want to project that they are on par with the men, now this projected toughness can get annoying at times.

We are witnessing a rising trend where in women executives and managers are making the line up everywhere, which was totally unheard off couple of decades back, this new power also gives rise to a new problem, the problem is their urge to prove their worth, now male subordinates would now not only have to suppress their ego but also frequently get themselves buried under female stampede, if a women were to play an instrument, now that's looked upon as women empowerment, women driving a car was looked upon as an empowerment once, something goes wrong in the society or an untoward incident takes place involving a women, it then calls for "male bashing", a women abuses you and you abuse a women back, it then calls for "male bashing" because society does not allow you to do that to a women, that is so unbecoming a man,if you get hit, you're not suppose to hit back because your gentlemen title does not pave way for that. I mean where is this headed, I'm not trivializing the recent atrocities that have taken place against women but what I'm saying is that, this unprecedented targeting and generalizing is not going to solve any problem, its only going to make it worse, instead of trying to be a real man or a women  try being good humans and try to upkeep a certain degree of humanity or cherish certain human values, that way we can reason with the issue and there by create harmony because we are a generation of men raised by a woman and trust me when I say this for the majority of us, we don't have to be taught to respect, it just comes automatic.  

Somebody's Watching Me

Have you ever felt like somebody's watching you and you have no clue as to who it is, somebody's watching your every move and those eyes keep following you no matter where you are or no matter where you go, you are being tracked, you can try hiding, you can try running, you can try disguising yourself but still you are never too far off from those eyes, you are still being watched.

I walked into a coffee shop one evening, I  walked towards the corner table located in the balcony, hoping to catch a glimpse of the city from the second floor and hopefully trying to evade the eyes of the ever curious crowd who are always on a look out, Privacy seems to be such a luxury these days, I took a sip of that coffee that was served to me and I was trying to enjoy my view, I strangely felt like somebody was looking right at me, I scanned for those eyes and I could see a person seated right across my table, starring right at me, He was a strange looking guy, I must have seen him somewhere, he seems so familiar, I kind of ignored him for some time but after a while it started making me feel increasingly uncomfortable, I started starring right back at him thinking that should take his eyes off me but it didn't, I kind off started waving at him, that didn't seem to shake him off, I couldn't take it anymore, I was growing increasingly impatient, I then rose my chair and then walked up to him and asked him as to why was he starring at me, I expected to hear something and instead all he returned was a smile, I didn't know what to make off it, It was getting a bit creepy, so I started walking away from him and towards the exit, Once I was off the shop I headed down the road and towards my home, I still couldn't get that smile off my head and as I kept walking, I felt like I was being watched again, I could feel it, I would occasionally look around but I still could see nothing, I felt like everybody is watching me, It kept growing at me, I started running, running as fast as I could, I nearly got hit by a car but still managed to keep going, I then entered my apartment block, headed towards the lift, couldn't wait for it to come down, I then took the stairs, I reached 5th floor in a minute, that was something, I then started digging deep into my pockets to reach out for my keys, once I got hold of it, I tried unlocking the door, once open, I entered my apartment and locked my door, I then headed for my cupboard and then reached out for my whiskey, poured it on to my glass and then gulped the whole thing down, I still couldn't get that feeling out of me, I thought splashing water on to my face would get things back to normal, I headed to the restroom and turned the tap on and then splashed some water on to my face, I reached for the towel and then wiped my face dry, I then look myself in the mirror, I was stunned by what I saw, I just couldn't believe what I was seeing, I could see the person who was starring at me at the coffee shop in the mirror, He still had that creepy smile and it kept growing at me, I panicked, I wanted to touch the mirror to check whether was I hallucinating or was it really him, The moment I touched the mirror, I could then see my reflection, The moment I took my hands of it , it was him, I was awestruck by what I had just witnessed.

I was just thinking as to whether was it really me that I was trying to run away from?   

STUPID PEOPLE!!

I just hate stupid people,incredibly stupid fucks, the kinda ones who we  meet everyday and wish they didn't exist at all,you know the kinda ones that I’m talking about don’t you…

The kinda ones who walk around with sunglasses in the middle of the night because they saw a Salman Khan or a Sharukh khan wearing that thing in a movie and they think its cool, yeah those are the ones that I’m talking about,they would be like "Hey is that you,man its so dark in here I can hardly notice you",that’s because you are wearing a  fucking sunglasses  in the middle of the night asshole,sunglasses are to be worn when there is a sun around, that’s why its called a sun glass and as you can notice he isn't  around here,is he? so take that thing of your face for fuck sake, before somebody thinks that a blind dumb ass has lost his way and has ended up here…

And you know the other kind of fucks who are just obsessed with being fair,the kinda ones who would wash their faces 15 times a day with rose water and apply all sorts of creams in a hope of getting fair,listen you dumb shit, what you have is what you get,try to be happy with that,you mom is black,you dad is black, their parents were black and so were their parents before that and that’s the reason you are black, it’s got something to do with your fucked up genes and nothing can change that ,even if you were to take bath with fair and lovely cream three times a day you would still remain black, unless and until somebody tries to spray paint your black ass white and you know that its just not possible,is it? so give the fuck up and try being happy the way you are, you miserable fuck…

And now a days man I see these stupid females riding a two wheeler around while making sure  every part of their body from head to toe remains hidden,you would have seen them right,they wrap around some kinda cloth around themselves, making sure no part of their body remains visible anymore ,I just don’t know whether its their new fashion statement inspired by the middle east or they are just plain ass stupid,now they feel that’s gonna stop the sun’s rays from entering their skin and getting them dark,what the fuck is wrong with you, because when the so called ozone layer couldn't prevent the suns rays from entering the earth, how is it that a stupid cloth with a millimeter thickness is gonna accomplish this task,its mere common sense and anyways let me tell you a secret about guys,for us its not the color that’s all that important ,it’s just the components that come with it that really matter’s, the bigger it is the better and it’s got nothing to do with color alright,so stop this nonsense and this sort of seduction is really not  gonna work out  for you,trust me…

And then you have these stupid guys who get so fucking excited watching these ads on television because they believe its true,remember the famous "AXE" ad,where in the guy in the ad sprays it and ends up being a chick magnet,now these guys really thought "Axe" could do that,everyday they would spray like half a bottle of that deodorant on to them and walk through the streets hoping to get lucky,that’s just ridiculous ,in order to attract somebody onto you, you got to have a face which has to look good,a personality and charisma to go along with it, that’s when you get lucky,you guys look like somebody tried to take a shit and you came out instead,that’s how shitty you look,with a face like that you should consider yourself lucky if you ever get laid,the only way that’s gonna happen is either the girl should be blind or look as ridiculous as you do, if not its just not gonna happen and stop using that AXE deodorant ,they gonna sue you for making a fool out of that product,trust me…

 I don’t understand the obsession with green tea these days among st fat people,they say it suppose to make u thin,listen up u dumb shit,tea is suppose to be black or brown if u mix with milk,that’s what tea is and that’s what its suppose to look like,that’s how it has always looked like,when invented tea in here that’s how it looked like and that’s why we call that thing tea,now why change that,that green looking thing right there looks like a cow with diarrhea tried to take a shit ,I wouldn't drink that ,nobody with common sense would,what’s wrong with you…

Listen fat guy,now don’t be stupid,you wanna shed your fat then you better start exercising because eating 6 meals a day is not gonna do you no good unless you wanna blow up and stop drinking green tea for fuck sake…

It's Time we Ask the Right Question!!

I guess "RAPE" has sort of become the talking point of this country, everybody is vouching for death penalty or chemical castration without even understanding the fact that, you can have the most heinous of punishments known to mankind printed on the rule book, but without a proper investigation or a legitimate prosecution process the guilty cannot be handed over the punishment, can they?

The problems with awarding a death penalty is that, it motivates the guilty to kill the victim, as it's the easiest way of disposing of the evidence, It's a probability. Chemical castration can be awarded for a person convicted on the second attempt, It's not that a wrong isn't a wrong when you do it the first time,it's just that the very purpose of "Law" is to reform a person, that's what a punishment is meant for,you cannot twist or turn the definition according to once need.

Number of rape cases in India has shot up, instead of blaming the entire male race in existence in India, what need's to be looked at is the cultural taboo on the word "SEX" that exists in a country like India, where uttering the very word is considered a sin, a boy and a girl cannot be just friends, there has to be more than something attached to the term, The first counter or an understanding an adolescent boy receives about his female counterpart is not through sex education but through his biology text books.

A nation where in 95% of its movies are about love, no wonder it has shot up the numbers in terms of population but what it also does is to increase the urge for it.. The society has to evolve,come out of the nutshell,develop an open mind,must accept that it's a human need and there is nothing wrong with doing it, this entire patriarchal mindset has to be knocked off and the people should be made aware of the fact that they are a generation of men raised by a women, so respect has to be vented out, that's the only way it can be curbed, I'm not defending what has happened or is happening but this is the ground reality, Sometimes truth is a bitter pill to swallow,isn't it?

MYSTICAL PARADOX

I knew not the world I had once heard off,

My world differs from the world I know off,

Gods and thy demons look alike, whom shall I choose,

God says " I'm thy creator, I define your destiny",

Demon says " I'm a creature like yourself,I chose my own destiny,
He thy calls me evil, I defied his principle,so be it,
I call it revolt against a rule of tyranny".

I chose the path of none,I let me be me,

For he thy not knoweth which path to seek,

Seeketh a path,his destiny thy shall it be..

                                                                          Rohan Nair

Bitter Existence of a Lost Soul

 Once a man killed a man called the game a fight,

A group of men killed their own kind gave it the name its war,

Lives were lost, grief set in, they gave it the name its fate,

You fight for land, for its wealth, for its glory,

Where in a land is no man's to buy,


He then took refuge in calling his wrong his right,

How could he not have learnt the very virtue of a human life?

I question thy belief; They ask “Who am I",

I said “I’m a soul unlike yourself,

All I seek is an answer”..

I then realized a fact , A fact proven true,

Hath no god maketh one strong within you,

If he thy lives, Prove me wrong, Let me witness you,

He never thy answers to my call they say he resides within you,

Something worth ignored,thy let go in the past,

And thy shall you be glorified on the reckoning,

Some call it insanity maybe,

Like the philosopher's stone that maketh thy gold,

Swallowth no stone ones sorrow to maketh thy smile....

DESTINATION UNKNOWN

 
I got lot of things uploaded in my mind,
Just not in a position to set it all right,
Been in this position before,
Things went on as foretold,
Adhere to the wise mans words,
But i didn't heed to their plea,
I let it all sway like a mighty wave,
It swept across the sea shores,
A cilvilization was lost,
lot of things went by,
Never thought he would lie ,
Those glorious days never seem to arrive,
The one that I loved never loved me back,
I never believed in god nor his holiness,

My life turned out meaningless

And this is how my story ends....

HALF DEAD ALREADY

 Happen to wake up in the morning  from an accidental drug overdose which was suppose to kill me but unfortunately it didn’t, my head’s still buzzing with some kind of a weird noise!!!errrrrrr!!!!!,Never heard or felt this thing before and I’m freaking out!!I,Finally woke up from the bed and started walking towards the bathroom and I happen to wash my face and just when I started  to look myself in the mirror  I was caught by surprise ,There was this weird scar on my neck which looked more or less like some kind of a  symbol,I never had this creepy little thing all my life and all of a sudden something just  appears just like that???WOW!!!!, I thought it was trying to tell me something , What happened last night??? Damn!!!, I couldn't  remember anything at all and all I remember was me having a drink, I did notice somebody slipping something into it and when asked this stupid lady had a wicked grin on her face and told me that it would be an unforgettable experience once I drink it and I was so bloody drunk that night that even if somebody were to give me a soda telling me that this was whiskey,I seriously wouldn't have made out the difference and after having it I passed out and when I woke up, I was lying in my bed now that’s weird,well how did I get back in here??that remains a question!!!...
Talking about myself, I’m a novelist ,I write stories for a couple of regional magazines and I have published a couple of books which of course  didn't do all that well. I live alone ,I have relatives but they of no good,I have no friends and the only companion that I have is a dog that lives alongside with me. "I did rather trust a dog than a human"!! ahahaha…… 


I happen to turn around and started walking towards the living room area to watch TV just to know as to what’s going on in the city that I live in,”who killed who??”,”did somebody actually die last night?” creepy isn't it, Well I love these kind of stuffs!!!!  oooooh my god !!!!!!!!!....  All of a sudden I noticed that my dog is lying dead on the floor in a pool of blood, Somebody just actually stabbed it with a blunt knife and actually managed to kill it ,now that’s weird !!!, I guess I must call the cops , I started heading towards the phone to make a call ,That’s when I noticed that somebody actually cut the telephone line,my mobile phone is missing as well !!!!!!, What on earth is happening ????, I felt like somebody is lurking around , I just saw a shadow going past me. I  started heading towards the kitchen to my amazement I saw sandwiches being baked without my knowledge !!!!! Who is doing this ????, Is somebody in here or is it some kind of a ghost lurking around . I started to panic and I rushed towards the bedroom to get hold of my car keys so that I could get the hell out of this place . There was somebody who was actually wrapped around my bed and beaten up as hell ,Who the hell is this lady and what is she doing in my bed. I woke her up and she started crying ,She was practically scared of me and I asked her what happen,she started to scream out loud stating ”somebody please help me”!!!. I was like excuse me, who the hell are you and who did this to you???,she said “it was you”!! , I was shocked!. She  told me that I met her in that party,I was drunk as hell and because she happen to be a prostitute,She was happy to offer any kind of service in return for money,I was obliged ..... I then drove her to my place and as I was trying to unlock my door , my dog started barking...The barking dog was pissing me off ,I forgot for a moment that it was my dog and it was actually barking at the lady,I had lost all my senses , I went to my kitchen picked up a knife and I tried to stab my dog with that knife which was actually blunt , I stabbed it so hard that it happen to die. I then happen to write something on the blood that was oozing out of its body, that was "R.I.P. u stupid dog "!!!!, I then cut my neck off with a razor blade in order to wipe off the sin  that I just committed,This lady was shocked looking at what just happened,She started to yell and scream,She thought that I was practically out of my mind,At that moment I thought she was the one who was responsible for the whole event and I wanted to punish her,I beat her up pretty bad and then went on to tie her on to the bed,I then shoved a cloth onto her mouth so that she couldn't make any noise !!!!!!!!,Then I felt hungry , I started walking towards the kitchen and started baking sandwiches ,I was losing my senses at that point and I walked into my next room and I fell asleep!!!!!... 


Neighbors had been hearing all sorts of noises throughout the night ,Somebody was ringing the door bell at 6:30am in the morning, I was wondering who would that be, At this moment I was trying to untie the lady and once I finished doing that ,This lady pushed me onto the wall and was trying to get out of my place,By the time I could get a hold of her she was already at the door,once she opened the door there were curious neighbors waiting outside to know what was happening,She then happens to explain the situation ,When they came to grab me, I was afraid of being manhandled and I went towards the balcony and in a bid to escape, I jumped and I fell onto the roof of a car and I was knocked out of my consciousness,When i woke up I found myself in a hospital ward surrounded by policemen and press....At this point I was already half dead....