The Fear Inside Me.....

Fear is something that resides within me,It is a weakness that I possess and I can do nothing about it,for some it may result in not doing something that they are good at because they cannot risk being unsuccessful.Every time I  set out to do something there was this one thing that used to strike in my mind    "What if" .................what if i couldn't make the cut,what if i were to fail,what if  things blew out of proportion,before i actually attempt something there was this thing that used to strike in my head .I didn't know what was it back then.I used to think that i was an optimist but was i really one I used to ask myself that question.What is it that i fear ,I didn't have an answer to that either,This fear was crippling me from beneath,I couldn't look myself in the mirror!!!!!! that's when i realized it was the me inside me that I feared the most.I had a lot of dreams and aspirations.I had a lot of expectations out of  life . Simple things that every man would wish for that is to be successful, i just couldn't be one and that was quite expected of me .I did lot of things ,things that were suppose to be good and things that were suppose to be bad but either ways my path is quite undecided yet,I have never had friends and its not that i didn't wish to its just that i don't fit in a way that is expected of me,people tend to have a preconceived opinion about me at times it feel good because i don't have to explain them as to what sort of person i'm and even if they are wrong i just oblige to them. Sometimes i let go of things that were so dear to me, I have broken the jinx of being confined in a room and have taken the next step of being amongst people because that is the actual world and i cannot live in a complete denial mode because that is where in belong and thats when i smelt freedom as I did overcome the fear inside me at least for once in my life...........