An Alien Amidst My Own

You tend to change, change is eminent, with time, you get older, grow wiser, chuckle at your very own stupidity that you might have committed when young, the sheer bravado of undertaking an undue risk when totally deemed unnecessary for a mere share of adrenaline rush. Something of beauty that brings a smile on to your face while mining through years worth of memory, that very smile fades away the very next moment.

Life itself is an oxymoron, you cannot make sense of most of what goes on, growing up all one could think of is to get out there exploring the world, be it taking the academic route or work, finally when you wind up there, you stick out like a sore thumb, then you tend to imbibe the new found etiquette's inorder to blend in, these new found upgraded refinements in ones very own taste are tough to let go off, still this camouflage doesn't get you counted one amongst the flock as you still stick out like a sore thumb, sometimes you feel like calling it a day, damn with the adventure, pack up and leave at once, seem to be missing that very chaos that you once despised and then you leave at once.

It hasn't still hit you yet and you aren't sure what awaits you ahead, once back, its the same penny for a dime episode playing out, the only change, you aren't counted in as one, as now you look different, eat different, talk different, prefer different, all the nudging and touching is something you can't put up with, plagued by mannerism and your speech governed by politeness you are getting distanced, you can't seem to blend in within your very own mix, have I lost it? or is the change that drastic that I feel like an alien amidst my own mix.